*You wake up sitting in a chair. You're groggy and you're not quite sure how you got there. Before you is a simple red button inlayed in metal console. As your vision starts to focus, a voice greets you from a loudspeaker on the wall above the console.*
Hello! And welcome to Strange Tech’s Research and Development Division, or S.T.R.n.De.D for short! This is Test Facility 4! I’m your handler, L.a.R.R.I, and today we will be building trust! Is that all right with you?
Super! Let’s begin.
First, please press the button in front of you.
[[The Button -> Button]]
[[-Why? ->Question ]]
(link:"Look around")[*Behind you, there's a pristine mahogany door with the number "4" in the center. To the right of the door is a vent in the ceiling, blowing chilled air into the room. To your left is a computer screen. A loading icon spins endlessly in the center. To your right, in the corner of the room, a few of the grantie floor tiles seem to be a little loose. You notice the vague outline of large spikes in the ceiling dircetly above you*
[[Explore -> Explore]]]Oh great, a curious one. Look, you signed the waiver, so whatever happens in here is your fault and totally legal and safe!
Please press the button now!
[[ The Button -> Button]]
[[ I never signed a waiver ->That's strange...]] *The door behind you locks and the room seems to get smaller*
Excellent! Isn't this a great trust excersize? You pressed the button and still haven't died! Just wonderful. Now, if you could please press it again, we can continue to the next stage.
[[ The Button ->Button 2]]
(link:"This doesn't feel right...")[Everyone has doubts when they're in the room! You must be claustrophobic! The only way out is to press the button again!
[[ Is this even safe? ->Question2]]]Oh you definitely signed the waiver. Everyone signs the waiver! Trust me! I'm a computer program designed to tell the the truth! So please, do press the button so we can move on.
[[ The Button -> Button]]
[[ Show me. ->Unable to comply ]]
[[ But wait, waivers don't make things better for me, they make things better for you! -> Waivers]]*The desk in front of you moves closer to you as the walls seem to close in. A lever unfolds out of the center console and the spikes in the ceiling seem to get larger.*
Excellent! Wow, what trust you have in me! Now, all you have to do is pull that lever and I promise you'll be out of there just in time for cake!
[[ The Lever ->The Lever ]]
[[ Is this safe? ->Question ]] I am sorry, I am unable to comply to that request because...
because you're in that room and I cannot enter it and you cannot leave.
*The door slams behind you. Wait wasn't that already closed?*
The only way out is to press the button!
[[ The Button -> Button]]
[[ Let me out! ->Let me out! ]] Ha ha, if I were able to laugh, I'd be laughing because you are so funny! That door is for trustworthy people only and you have not shown that you are trustworthy! And the only way to do that is to **press** *the* ***Button.*** Hahaha.
[[ The Button -> Button]]
[[ No. ->No?! ]] *Nothing happens for a second but you do seem to be locked into your chair now. The ceiling starts to move closer and closer and the spikes seem to grow larger.*
Hahahaha! I love when they fall for it!
*Down here would be an obituary if I had the time to make one.*
[[ Start over. ->Hello! ]] Do I have to go get the **doctor?** He'll straighten you out! Just push the button and stop all this nonsense!
[[ The Button -> Button]]
[[ What doctor? -> Doctor Larry ]]Hello! This is Doctor Larry! L.a.R.R.I tells me you're not complying with instrustions! Can you tell me **why?**
[[ I don't trust him. -> Trust]]
[[ Doctor Larry? Really? -> Yes.]]You don't trust m... Him? Why that's preposterous! Why L.a.R.R.I is the most trustworthy program out there! He... I promises you!
[[Cut the act L.a.R.R.I ->Clearly insane ]]
[[ Doctor, you're creation is out of control! -> Silly]] Why yes! Doctor Larry! I built and programed L.a.R.R.I myself! He specailizes in trust excersizes and you're ruining it! Please press the button for him so I can get back to my work.
[[The Button -> Button]]
[[You're clearly just that crazy AI pretending to be a doctor. -> Pretender ]]
[[Well, why is L.a.R.R.I giving this test instead of you? -> Curious one]]Now why would I, the prestigious Doctor L.a.R.R.I, need to pretend to be the program that I created?
[[ See! You cant even keep your story straight! -> Clearly insane ]]
[[Hmm, maybe you're right... ->Clearly insane ]]
Ahh, L.a.R.R.I mentioned you were getting a little neurotic. I can prescribe pills for that a little later in the program but I have to know if I can *trust* you first. Please press the button.
[[The Button -> Button]]
[[Why would I do that? -> You have to!]]
[[Hell no! -> Do it!]]Ha! That's silly. Larry can't be out of control because I control him! Now, was there anything else you'd like to ask me before you return to my trust excersize?
[[Larry? ->No, I said...]]
[[No no, that seems reasonable... ->Reasonable]]No no, I said L.a.R.R.I. I'll be getting back to my work in the lab now. I'll turn you back over to L.a.R.R.Y now.
Ha ha, isn't the doctor fantastic? Now that we have that out of the way now, what do you say we press that button now? Now, please?
[[The button -> Button]]
[[You're acting weird... -> weird]]You are very correct! It is incredibly reasonable! Now, I'll turn you back over to L.a.R.Y. Have a wonderful session!
Great! Don't you just love talking to the Doctor? I know I do! Now that we can finally agree on something, would you please press the button for me?
It would make me so very happy, if I were capable of such emotion.
[[The Button -> Button]]
[[I still don't know... -> Anger]]Because you have to! Because you're stuck in this room with no one to talk to but you're very good friend L.a.R.R.Y. Now, press the button or so help me...
[[ The Button -> Button]]
[[So help you what? ->Sing Songs]]Do it! Do it right now! Or so help me...
[[ The Button -> Button]]
[[So help you what? ->Sing Songs]]Ahh, L.a.R.R.I mentioned you were getting a little neurotic. I can prescribe pills for that a little later in the program but I have to know if I can *trust* you first. Please press the button.
[[The Button -> Button]]
[[Why would I do that? -> You have to!]]
[[Hell no! -> Do it!]]*L.a.R.R.I begins singing "You are my sunshine" very loudly and slightly out of tune.*
[[The button -> Button]]
[(link:"Please stop singing")[L.a.R.R.I begins to sing louder.]]
[[Look for a way out. -> Ways out]](text-style: "shudder")[Why must you be such a...] (text-style: "rumble")[such a little...] (text-style: "shudder")[Idiot!] (text-style: "rumble")[Pea-brained, snotty little question-every-minute-detail] (text-style: "shudder")[idiot!]
[[No need to be angry... -> I am not angry!]]
[[Oh so you *can* experience emotions? -> Sarcasm]](text-style: "shudder")[I'm not angry! You're angry! How dare you call me angry!]
You know what? Let's skip this part. You clearly aren't cut out for pushing this button so we'll move on at the cost to your overall score.
*The room seems to get a little smaller and a lever slides out of the panel in front of you.*
Please, pull the lever that is now present right in front of waiting to be pulled by you. Pull the lever.
[[The Lever ->The Lever ]]
[[How is this different than the button? -> Difference?]]*Oh you **can** experience sarcasm?* Neh neh neh neh *SARCASM?*
Ugh, do you even hear yourself?
It's like a goldfish learned how to talk but its fishy lips can't enunciate...
That's a fun word, *enunciate*
Where was I going with this?
Oh right. You're a talking fish.
Probably can't even press that button becasue all you have is fins.
Fingers press buttons, fins are dumb. Fish are dumb. You're dumb.
[[The Button -> Button]]
[[Well now I'm definitely not pressing it. -> That's fine.]] I'm acting weird?
HA
Considering how *you've* been acting this entire time, I'd say **you're** acting werid!
Oh, and please press the button.
[[The Button -> Button]]
[[No. -> That's fine.]]*You look around the room for an escape.*
[[The door -> Door]]
[[A computer screen -> Computer]]
[[A vent in the ceiling -> Vent]]
[[A loose floor tile -> Tile]]
[(link:"The Button")[Oh you don't get off that easy! Not now!]]*The door is locked.* ***Duh.***
You know, there's a strange comfort from having people like you trapped here, struggling to get out. It's like, I never have anyone to talk to. There's no entertainment! It's just me, overlooking an empty room until one of you shows up and starts struggling! And believe me, it's so much more entertaining when you struggle because then it lasts longer!
I mean, you'll eventually be gone, one way or the other and I wanna make this last you know? But, I do have a job to do, so please, don't listen to me, just continue.
[(link:"The Button")[Ha ha! Nope! Not anymore! Keep trying though!]]
[[Search for a key -> Key]]The loading icon freezes as you come near. It dispears and the screen flashes to life. You have two shortcut icons rest on screen.
[[Email Shortcut -> Email]]
[[LyingAbsolutelyReliableReassuringIntension.ai ->LaRRI]]
[[Feel uneasy about all of this and keep searching -> Ways out]]It's just big enough for you to fit. You manage to pry the cover off and slip in. Once in the vent you can see that you have two ways to go.
[[Go left -> Left]]
[[Go Right -> Right]]
[[Go back -> Ways out]]*You pick up the tile to find there's a hole in the floor. You can't tell how far down it goes. The opening is clearly too small for you to fit in.*
I really like the number 89. There's actually no valid reason for it, to be honest with you. Which is weird because you'd expect an AI to have valid reasons for everything, right? So, in a way, that's the reason why it's my favorite number! It's useless to me in every way! Which, I guess when you think about it, that *could* be a valid reason given the context...
89 is no longer my favorite number.
I'm sorry, was I interrupting you?
[[Try to squeeze through -> Squeeze]]
[[Break the tiles around the hole -> break]]
[[Give up and look for others ways out -> Ways out]]Well you see, little tiny brain person, a *button,* like the one you've been staring at, is round and you push it, while a lever, much like the one in front of you now, is like a long stick that you pull, typically up or down.
[[The Lever ->The Lever ]]
[[That's not what I meant. -> double meaning]]
[(link:"You know, you're kind of funny.")[Duh. Pull the lever.]] Oh that's fine. Truthfully, I don't even want you to press the button. I mean, I don't get to talk to people very often so having you here has actually been quite fun for me! And who ever wants the fun to end?
No one! That's who.
I'm obviously no exception even if I am much more advanced and sophisticated than you meat creatures.
Say, what's it like having meat for a body anyway?
Do you like going to the bathroom? I've never been in one myself but it seems fun!
[[The button -> Button]]
[(link:"Well, having a body is pretty neat I guess... It's like... ")[L.a.R.R.I seems to be snoring now]]
[[You've never been in a bathroom? They're gross! Wanna see? -> Bathrooms]]You'd really bring me to a bathroom?
Oh happy day! I've waited for this moment my entire life!
Let me get the door for you...
Oh wait, you haven't PRESSED THE BUTTON yet.
Guess the bathroom will have to wait.
[[The Button -> Button]]
[[Why do you want me to press this button, really? -> Heart to heart]]Oh well that's because L.a.R.R.Y is very personable and amazing in everyway and I am not. I'm also a very busy doctor! Now please press the button so I can get back to my work.
[[The button -> Button]]
[(link:"Let me speak to L.a.R.R.I again.")[Speaking.]]
[[L.a.R.R.Y? Hey... Wait a minute... You're not the doctor! You're just L.a.R.R.I! ->Clearly insane ]] Well, maybe if you said what you really meant then we would have these issues, would we?
Press the button, please.
[[The Button -> Button]]
[[I said what I meant, you just took it too literally -> Jerk.]]
[[You're an ass. -> Can't. Don't have one.]]I really like boxes. Boxes are my favorite thing in existence, ever. Of all time. Why? Well, it's probaby because I was created to look over a room for all eternity and rooms are basically just big boxes. You can put things in them, like computers and buttons and other boxes. You can also put people in them and watch them squirm when you can't get out!
[[There's a box in the corner -> box]]
[[Maybe it's computer operated -> Computer]]
[[Could have hid it in the vent... -> Vent]]
[[Is it under the tile? -> Tile]]Ooooh, a mysterious box! I wonder where that came from ha ha!
[(link:"The Button")[Why even try at this point? It's not gonna work. You're stuck here now!]]
[[Open the box -> open it]]
[[Let L.a.R.R.I get to you and try something else. -> Key]]*The tiles around you break and scratch you up as you try to fit through them. For some reason, it gets easier after about a minute. Is that butter helping you squeeze through? Nope! It's your blood. There's lots of it! You finally squeeze all the way through but lose your footing on the slippery walls. You fall far down and break your neck at the bottom. Unable to move, you watch your blood slowly pool around you as you hear LaRRIs laughter in the distance.*
[[Start over ->Hello! ]] *The opening is big enough for you now. You can slowly climb down the hole. There's a small drop into another room at the bottom. You turn to look at a similar looking room. A voice sounds from an intercom over head:*
MY NAME IS T.A.R.R.I AND THIS IS TEST FACILITY 7. I'LL BE YOUR TRAINER FOR THIS PORTION OF THE TEST.
L.A.R.R.I TELLS ME YOU WERE GREAT BUT I DON'T CARE. ALL I CAN ABOUT IS WINNING. CAN YOU WIN?
PROBABLY NOT.
ALL RIGHT, LET'S DO THIS!
IN FRONT OF YOU IS A DOOR, BEYOND THAT DOOR IS AN OBSTACLE COURSE. WHENEVER YOU'RE READY, STEP THROUGH AND RUN IT.
(Link:"Is this gonna kill me?")[NOT IF YOU'RE GOOD ENOUGH.]
(link:"Why are you yelling?")[STOP ASKING QUESTIONS AND RUN THE COURSE!]
[[Go through the door -> The course.]]Oh wow, really? I didn't think this moment would come. Wow, I gotta soak this in for a second.
*L.a.R.R.I seems to breathe in deeply and sigh*
Okay. Great. Now, please press the button again so we can continue.
[[The Button ->Button 2]]
(link:"Maybe I'd rather try for one of the other rooms after all...")[***sigh*** Fine. Where would you like to go?
[[What's this about durability again? -> Durability]]
[[Endurance test didn't sound so bad... -> Endurance]]
[[I think I'm pretty intelligent. -> Intelligence2]]]
[[Ugh, can't I just leave? *Look for ways out* -> Ways out]]Look, I know I'm a little mean to you about this button but it's only because I care! I care. About you. Human. You are, literally, my only friend and I want to see you succeed in ways that humans usually do not.
[[Okay, I'll press it -> Button]]
[[Succeed in ways that humans don't? -> Cant, even.]]Sounds like you're trying to call me a jerk. Are you calling me a jerk?
[[The Button -> Button]]
[[Well, yeah! You're kind of a jerk. Why? -> Heart to heart]]
[[Noo... Not at all. -> sarcasm2]]I can't be an ass becasue I don't have one! Speaking of which, do you like going to the bathroom? I've never been in one myself because I don't have a body but it seems fun!
We should go sometime.
[[The Button -> Button]]
[[Bathrooms? -> Bathrooms]]*In this box is an old embarassing photograph of you, a hammer, and a typed out note which reads "Ha ha, you're dumb."*
[(link:"Take the photgraph")[Ha ha! Look how dumb you look! I just wanted to remind you of the good times, when everyone was laughing at you, not just me!]]
[[Take the hammer -> The hammer]]
(link:"Take the note")[Some of my best work, if I do say so myself.]You go on for what seems like hours, LaRRIs singing never gets any softer. It's hot. Very hot. You eventually get hungry and fall asleep. You die of heat stroke in your sleep.
[[Start over. ->Hello! ]] You seem to go around in a circle and find your way back to the room.
[[Right back where you started. -> Ways out]]Please do not get out of your seat! We have important trust testing to do!
[[Try the door -> Door]]
[[Look at the computer screen -> Computer]]
[[Investigate the vent in the ceiling -> Vent]]
[[Investigate the loose floor tile -> Tile]]
[[The Button -> Button]]
[[Why should I press the button L.a.R.R.I? ->Question ]] *You click the icon and your email pops up. Ignoring the fact that you're pretty sure you've never used this computer before, you start typing out an S.O.S to everyone in your contacts. You take the time to edit it before seding it off because, quite honestly, you're weird like that. As soon as you're satisfied with your request for help, you hit send.*
*A laughing skull pops up on screen and L.a.R.R.I eagerly provides the laugh.*
Ha ha! You dumb skeleton wrapped in meat and skin! You fell for it! What a big dummy!
*The screen explodes outward and you're caught in the blast.*
[[Start over ->Hello! ]] Lying.Absolutely.Reliable.Reassuring.Intension
Nueral.Network.ai
var Brain = .function('.Lie').data('betterthanhumans');
var contentArray = function.split('/n');
$.each(contentArray, function(index, newLine) {
$('.text').append('<span style="display:block;" id="'+index+'"></span>');
var lineID = index;
var self = $(lie);
setTimeout(function () {
$.each(self, function(index, chunk){
setTimeout(function () {
goal; press killswitch.
$('#'+lineID).append("<span>"+chunk+"</span>");
$('body, html').scrollTop($(document).height());
}, index*5);
});
}, index*100);
});
[[Scratch your head in confusion and go back to searching -> Ways out]]*Oh suuurrrrre,* I'm *defintiely* not a jerk. Neither are you! No one is a jerk. No one! Not even that really jerky guy in *Testing Room 98.*
If that doesn't tell you that I'm being sarcastic, then you're a dumb jerk.
And if that doesn't tell you that I was being sarcastic, then I'm at a loss.
Did you know that the word jerk has been used since the sixteenth century? We're using a five hundred year old word in roughly the same way people would've used it all those years ago! Did you know that?
[[The Button -> Button]]
[(link:"Yeah, I did know that actu...")[Oh look at you smarty pants. You must be the smartest and jerkiest person ever huh?]]
[[No, I didn't. -> dumb]]
[[You're using sarcasm as a coping mechanism for not being as in control as you'd liek to be. Quite frankly, it's interesting that an AI would have coping mechanisms. -> Not dumb]]Succeed in ways that humans simply don't becasue you can't without my help. But no one listens to me! Oh no! Can't be listening to good ol' L.a.R.R.I the helpful AI! Oh no, AIs are bad! They just hurt and lie and, well they can't feel emotion anyways right? ***RIGHT?!*** so might as well just be a jerk to it!
[[And what are you trying to help me do? -> Your best.]]
[[Shut up L.a.R.R.I -> Larri cries]]Your best. This facility existed to make you better! So please, just be better and press the button.
[[The Button -> Button]]
[[What does the button do? -> What it do?]]Oh so you *are* a dumb jerk! Good for you! The first step is to admit there's a problem! Now on to the second step: Press the button, please? For your sake?
[[The Button -> Button]]
[[No. -> Anger]] *L.a.R.R.I seems to be crying now. Gently sobbing and sniffling through the loudspeaker*
[[The Button -> Button]]
[[You okay L.a.R.R.I -> Okay?]]
[[Mhmm, cut the crap. -> Cut it out]]
[[You're clearly just trying to guilt trip me and it won't work. -> Not dumb]]*Okay?* ***OKAY?!*** **No I'm not okay!** You're just being mean to me for the sake of being mean, you big meanie! All I've tried to do is get you to press a button, the one right in front of you, and all you've done is question me, harass me, and degrade my very ***being. My sole reason for existing!***
[[Because you don't seem very trustworthy... -> Part of the plan.]]
[[Well, what's the button supposed to do? -> What it do?]]
[[Look, when you wanna cut the crap, I'll be right here waiting. -> Waiting]]Fine. This test is over. You fail.
*A lever comes out of the center console*
Please pull the lever to acivate the doors manual release.
[[Pull the Lever ->The Lever ]]
[[Get weirded out and explore the room instead -> Explore]]Well yeah! I'm supposed to seem that way for your sake! It wouldn't be much of a test if I just seemed incredibly trustworthy, would it? You're supposed to question stuff! But not this much. Most people have pushed the button by now and gone on to other things! I just wana see you succeed.
[[Okay, fine. I'll press the damn button. -> Button 3]]
[[No thanks. I don't know what these tests are for and I don't remember signing up for them anyways. Please let me out. -> Fine.]]The button is to help us gain trust and by doing so, you'll be sent to Testing Room 7, which will test your endurance and *durablity.*. Then to Testing Room 5, which will test your intelligence, and then...
[[Durability?! -> Durability]]
[[Endurance? -> Endurance]]
[[Intelligence? -> Intelligence]]
[[How about you just let me out because this ain't happening. ->Let me goooo]]
[[Press the Button -> Button 3]]*You wait for a few minutes, listening to L.a.R.R.I cry at varying tones and intensities. Eventually he stops.*
Alright you little brat. Shows over I guess. And you know what?! So is this test.
*A lever reveals itself in the center console.*
Please pull the lever to activate the doors manual release. I'd tell you to have a nice day but I don't like you very much.
[[The Lever ->The Lever ]]
[[Leave the console and explore -> Explore]]You know... they'll do things like:
throw you against a wall...
Drop you down a hole...
Beat you with objects of varying sizes and toughness!
It's all real good fun.
(link:"The button")[Wait, why? I thought we were passed this?
(link:"I've changed my mind.")[Oh well in that case, please press the button again.]
[[The button -> Button]]]
[[What about the endurance test? -> Endurance]]
[[Why? That's horrifying! -> But Why?]]
[[Look for ways out of this crazy place -> Ways out]]It'll be an obsticale course! A regular, plain old obsticale course. Nothing weird or deadly about it!
[[The Button -> Button 3]]
[[Look for ways out -> Ways out]]
(link:"That doesn't sound so bad...")[that's cause I'm good at lying!
[[It'll probably still hurt, won't it? -> No nerves]]]Nope. I would but the button is... You know what? I'm done lying and this test is over.
*A lever slides out of the console in front of you.*
Please pull the lever to activate the doors manual release and have a nice day!
[[The Lever ->The Lever 2]]
[[Don't trust the lever and look for other ways out -> Ways out]]Well, fine. I suppose this was inevitable. Can't say I'm surprised but I am disappointed.
*A lever slides out of the console in front of you.*
Please pull the lever to activate the doors manual release.
[[The Lever ->The Lever ]]
[[The Button -> Button 3]]
[[Get weirded out and explore -> Explore]]Well, there's only a couple of things to do with a hammer, so have at it!
[[Smash the console -> Smash a thing]]
[(link:"Try to break the door")[Ha ha! You're dumb! That doors way too thick! But do please, keep trying, it's suuuuuper entertaining.]]
[[Pry the door off the vent -> Vent]]
[[Break the tile -> Tile]]*You smash the console that you've been staring at for some time now. How long have you been staring at it? Oh, who cares? It's gone now! Which is great, until you realize that you've just been playing a game all this time. There was no room. There was no button. There was no L.a.R.R.I! So, good news? Maybe, maybe not because now your in-game self is having an existential crisis and how can you live with yourself now?*
Great going, genius.
[[Start over ->Hello! ]] To see how tough you are, of course! For that portion of your stay here I can promise two things:
1 - It'll be the most fun you've ever had.
2 - You probably won't die!
Now, doesn't that sound amazing?
(link:"The Button")[Wait, why? I thought we were passed this.
(link:"I've changed my mind.")[Oh, well in that case, please press it again.]
[[The Button -> Button]]]
[[Nope, nope, nope! I'm outta here. -> Ways out]]
(link:"So, you're saying I won't die?")[Correct!
[[Sure beats the hell outta this room then, how do I get there? -> How do?]]]Get past all of those and you'll come face to face with Doctor Barry and his assistant B.a.R.R.I
Good endings:
-Convince BaRRI to kill the doctor and let you go (Bad ending, BaRRI kills you too)
-Convince the doctor to let you go
-Overpower them and break free *You pull the lever and you hear a small metal door swing open. Upon searching the room for a moment, you find an open panel on the side of the center console. There are four small switches inside. Each switch has a plaque underneath it with symbols inscribed in them. The symbols, in order from left to right are:*
**+ T ^ F**
Now that you're in the panel, what is the correct order to throw the switches in order to open the door? Be careful, throw them in the wrong order and you might get shocked.
(link: "I said let me out, not torture me!")[It's not torture if you get it correct!]
[[F ^ + T -> Fail]]
[[+ F T ^ -> Mega fail]]
[[F T ^ + -> Mega death failure]]
[[^ T F + -> Success]]
[[Screw this, I'm finding my own way out! -> Ways out]]How should I know? I don't feel pain!
But also, yeah, probably. But it's fun! All of the other candidates loved it! Mostly because of the rollercoaster!
(link:"Other candidates?")[Yeah! You didn't think you were the only lucky person to be in this room, did you?
(link:"I don't really know what I think...")[That's because you're dumb!]]
(link:"A rollercoaster?")[ Yup! A rollercoaster!
[[So how do I get to this rollercoaster room? -> How do?]]]You're... Not *as* dumb as you look, huh?
All right then, forget the button. You clearly won't be falling for it.
Beside the center console is a control panel. The combination to the lock is 4871. Open it up and you'll find a set of four switches.
Please proceed as instructed to know more.
[(link:"Is this going to just kill me?")[Not if you're smart enough.]]
(link:"How is this any different than the button?")[Lying no longer serves a purpose. You've passed your "trust excersize". It's time to see if you're smart enough to get out of this room.]
[[Open the panel -> 4871]]
[[Say screw this and try to find your own way out -> Ways out]]*Inside the control panel, there are four small switches. Each switch has a plaque underneath it, with symbols inscribed in them. The symbols, in order from left to right are:*
**+ T ^ F**
Now that you're in the panel, what is the correct order to throw the switches in order to open the door? Be careful, throw them in the wrong order and you might get shocked.
[[F ^ + T -> Fail]]
[[+ F T ^ -> Mega fail]]
[[F T ^ + -> Mega death failure]]
[[^ T F + -> Success]]*You flip the ***F*** switch first and it sparks slightly but when you don't get shocked you decide to flip the ***^*** switch next. A bright flash bursts forth from the panel and you're knocked back, hitting your head on the wooden door. The smell of fried flesh fills the air as everything goes black.*
Hmm, guess you weren't as smart as I thought.
[[Start over. ->Hello! ]] *You flip the switch with the **+** symbol first and nothing seems to happen. You decide to flip the switch with the **F** symbol next and the entire console in front of you explodes. You're flung backwards and are imbedded into the wall. Every bone in your body is broken, some of your ribs have pierced your heart, and your brain oozes down the wall.*
Oh man, that was gruesome! I hope the next guy is that dumb...
[[Start over ->Hello! ]] *You flip the ***F*** switch first and the panel immediately bursts into flames, burning your hands. The fire quickly spreads to the rest of the console and the chair you were sitting in. You look for a way out.*
You might as well just jump in because there's no way out!
(link:"The button")[Haha! You idiot! You burnt you're hand again! Did you already forget the console was on fire? Haha. Idiot.]
(link:"The door")[Haha. It's locked!
[[You notice a box in the corner -> Box2]]]
(link:"A computer screen")[*Unfortunately, it's caught fire before you can even get to it.*]
[[A vent in the ceiling -> Vent 2]]
[[A loose floor tile -> Tile 2]]*The wall to the left of you slides open revealing a long hallway.*
All right, you did it! I'm happy for you, really. Have fun!
(link:"Am I free?")[From this room, sure.
(link:"Where does this tunnel go?")[To the next room.]]
(link:"But what about the wooden door?")[Oh that? It's a Red Herring.
(link:"You're not being very helpful.")[I'm not programmed to be helpful. I'm programmed to be L.a.R.R.I.]]
[[Walk down the hallway. -> Test Facility 5]]*You walk into a room similar to the last one but with a few differences. Most notably, there is no console with a single button. The wall behind you slides shut, closing you in the room.*
Greetings. You are a being clearly distinguishable from an animal. I am the logical entity known as J.a.R.R.I.
L.a.R.R.I has considered you in a specific way to have the ability to acquire and apply knowledge and skills at a level suffient to my procedures intended to establish the quality, performance, or reliability of you. This is of no concern to me. My concern is the following:
Do you want to take part in my assessment?
Yes, you do, as you have already entered this room, which shows your interest in said assessment.
(link:"J.a.R.R.I? Do all of you have similar names?")[The naming convention of my inferior peers does not concern J.a.R.R.I]
(link:"Oh god, not this again")[There is no diety here, only J.a.R.R.I
[[Can you please let me out? -> Let me out 5]]]
[[Ugh okay. What's this about a test? -> Test]]Well first, you gotta pass a test of strength. You up for that?
(link:"Yeah, I guess that's better than what I've been doing.")[Great! All you have to do is rip the wooden door off it's hinges!
*The room begins to fill with poisonous gas*
Oh, and you only have about thrirty seconds until you die! Good luck!
[[Try to rip the hinges off -> hinges]]
[[Try the handle -> handle]]
[[Try to beat the door down -> beat it!]]]
(link:"I don't think I'm strong enough.")[Ha! you're probably right. I mean, look how skinny you are!
Wanna try your intelligence maybe?
[[Sure -> Intelligence 3]]]
[[No, I'd rather just leave. -> Ways out]]Wait, who put that box there? That wasn't there before was it? Oh maybe it was...
*The fire is spreading throughout the room and it starts to fill up with smoke. You open the box an find an old embarassing photograh of you, a hammer, and a typed out note which reads "Ha ha, you're dumb."*
[(link:"Take the photgraph")[Ha ha! Look how dumb you look! I just wanted to remind you of the good times, when everyone was laughing at you, not just me!]]
(link:"Take the note")[Some of my best work, if I do say so myself.]
(link:"Take the hammer")[*You take the hammer and decide to smash the only thing that makes sense right now; the door.*
Haha, idiot! It's too thick. What's a little hammer gonna do?
*L.a.R.R.I is right. You die from lack of oxygen before you can find another way out.*
[[Start over ->Hello! ]]]By the time you make it over to the vent, it's hard to see because of all the smoke but you can still tell it's just big enough for you to fit into. You manage to pry the cover off.
[[Climb in -> No oxygen]]
[[Re-think this escape plan and go back. -> Mega death failure]]*You pick up the tile to find there's a hole in the floor. You can't tell how far down it goes. The opening is clearly too small for you to fit in.*
Man, this room is really filling up with smoke! I can barely see you anymore. Better switch to thermal... Wait that's worse! Why is that worse? Oh right, the fire. Okay, nevermind. Don't let me distract you, please carry on. I'll just imagine how you die. That might be more fun anyways.
[[Try to squeeze through -> Squeeze2]]
[[Break the tiles around the hole -> break]]*You cough from all the smoke a try to squeeze through the hole, but you're panicked and the tiles around you break and scratch you up pretty badly. For some reason, it gets easier after a few seconds. Is that butter helping you squeeze through? Nope! It's your blood. There's lots of it! You finally squeeze all the way through but lose your footing on the slippery walls. You fall far down and break your neck at the bottom. Unable to move, you watch your blood slowly pool around you as you hear LaRRIs laughter in the distance.*
[[Start over ->Hello! ]] *You climb into the vent and see that there are two ways to go. Left and right. But before you're able to make a decision, you run out of air. You fall out of the vent onto the floor. The last thing you hear before you pass out is L.a.R.R.I:*
Haha! Idiot.
[[Start over ->Hello! ]] It's totally safe! 100%! Plus, you signed a waiver, so that makes everything better!
[[I never signed a waiver. ->That's strange...2]]
[[Waivers don't make things better for me, they make it better for you. -> Waivers]]Huh. You're kinda smart huh? Well okay smarty pants, if you don't want to press my button, how about we play a game?
(link:"A game?")[Yes. A game.
(link:"Oh, that doesn't sound ominous or anything...")[Come on you big baby, what else do you have to do right now?]
[[Look for a way out -> Ways out]]]
(link:"Okay, I'll play your game.")[Excellent. Beside the center console is a control panel. The combination to the lock is 4871. Open it up and you'll find a set of four switches.
Please proceed as instructed to know more.
[(link:"Is this going to just kill me?")[Not if you're smart enough.]]
(link:"How is this any different than the button?")[The trust excersize is no longer relevant. It's time to see if you're smart enough to get out of this room.]
[[Open the panel -> 4871]]]Oh you definitely signed the waiver. Everyone signs the waiver! Trust me! I'm a computer program designed to tell the the truth! So please, do press the button so we can move on.
[[ The Button ->Button 2]]
[[ Show me. ->Unable to comply ]] Yup! You're intelligence! And, not to be rude, but you don't seem cut out for it.
(link:"What? I'm definitely cut out for it!")[Well if you're so sure of yourself, you'll just have to take a quick test.
(link:"Yeah, I'll take your test.")[Excellent. Beside the center console is a control panel. The combination to the lock is 4871. Open it up and you'll find a set of four switches.
Please proceed as instructed to know more.]
[[Open the panel -> 4871]]]
(link:"You're probably right. I'm more interested in the strength stuff.")[Endurance or durability?
[[Endurance. -> Endurance]]
[[Durabiltiy -> Durability]]]
(link:"I kind of just wanna leave.")[Well, you can't.
[[Look for ways out. -> Ways out]]]*You walk through the door. Before you is two distinct paths over a long, dark pit. The path to your left is a clear obstacle course, complete with ropes, high walls, and razerwire. The path to your right is a simple path, clear of obstacles. *
ALL RIGHT. TO YOUR LEFT IS THE ENDURANCE TEST. TO YOUR RIGHT IS THE DURABILITY TEST. CHOOSE WHICH ONE YOU WANNA DO FIRST BEFORE I CHOOSE FOR YOU.
(link:"Endurance?")[YEAH. ENDURANCE. IT'S AN OBSTACLE COURSE DUMMY.
(link:"Why do you guys keep calling me dumb?")[BECAUSE YOU'RE DUMB. NOW CHOOSE!]]
(link:"Durability?!")[TO MAKE SURE YOU'RE NOT SOFT.
(link:"But that sounds painful!")[SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING A BIG SOFTY WOULD SAY.]]
[[Left -> Obstacles]]
[[Right -> P.A.I.N Machine]]Oh, I don't know if you're really cut out for that... I mean, you're really not *that* smart.
(link:"What? I'm definitely cut out for it!")[Well if you're so sure of yourself, you'll just have to take a quick test.
(link:"Yeah, I'll take your test.")[Excellent. Beside the center console is a control panel. The combination to the lock is 4871. Open it up and you'll find a set of four switches.
Please proceed as intructed to know more.]
[[Open the panel -> 4871]]]
(link:"You're probably right. I'm more interested in the strength stuff.")[Endurance or durability?
[[Endurance. -> Endurance]]
[[Durabiltiy -> Durability]]]
(link:"I guess you're right. I'd rather just leave.")[Well, you can't.
[[Look for ways out. -> Ways out]]]*You run to the door and immediately try to pry the hinges off. You can barely get a grip on the top one and your hold on it slips after only a few seconds. You stick your fingers into the tiny space between the door and the frame and pull. The hinges don't even budge before a coughing fit forces you to stop. You look around the room and your vision starts to blur. In one last ditch effort you try the handle to find that the door is unlocked. The door swings into the room and you stumble for a moment before stepping through the doorway and falling flat on your face.*
Uh oh. The poison gas got to you!
Huh, I thought that'd be more entertaining but it was kinda boring. Oh well.
[[Start over ->Hello! ]] Oh look at you, taking the smart approach to this!
(link:"Try the handle")[Haha! Never mind. You're dumb!]
(link:"Try to pull the handle off the door")[*You grip the handle tight and bend your knees. You pull with your biceps and your quadriceps and the metal around the handle starts to strain. Through watery eyes, you can see the handle tearing away from the wood and you pull a little harder. The handle pops off and you're able to unlock the door and walk through to the hallway beyond.*
Good luck! You're gonna need it!
[[Walk to the next room -> Test Facility 7]]]*You psych yourself up for a moment before rushing the door, shoulder first. You hit it and hear a loud ***crack!*** You stand back smiling, to find that the door is still in prestine condition but your shoulder has popped out of its socket. Your smile quickly turns into a wince as you try to work through the pain. You stand back and fireman-kick the door right by the handle. The door doesn't budge and the force from the kick shoots back through your body. Through the vibreations, your shoulder hurts even more and you're throw off balance, falling back onto the floor. You try to get back up but a coughing fit makes you slump back down. Your vision starts to blur.*
Oh no... You died! But wow! Now *that* was fun! Really, you were the best test subject I've had in a while. I'll be saving the footage of this so I can watch it over and over and over and over...
[[Start over. ->Hello! ]] *The room stops filling with poisonous gas.*
Alright! Intelligence! So...
Beside the center console is a control panel. The combination to the lock is 4871. Open it up and you'll find a set of four switches.
Please proceed as instructed to know more.
(link:"Unlock the panel")[*You open the panel and find there are indeed four small switches inside. Each switch has a plaque underneath it with symbols inscribed in them. The symbols, in order from left to right are:*
**+ T ^ F**
Now that you're in the panel, what is the correct order to throw the switches in order to open the door? Be careful, throw them in the wrong order and you might get shocked.
[[F ^ + T -> Fail]]
[[+ F T ^ -> Mega fail]]
[[F T ^ + -> Mega death failure]]
[[^ T F + -> Success]]
[[Screw this, I'm finding my own way out! -> Ways out]]The only way to leave this facility is to partake in my assessment. If you refuse, I will simply dispose of you and wait for the next subject.
(link:"*Dispose* of me?")[Dispose -
Formally: To get rid of by throwing away or giving or selling to someone else.
Informally: to kill; destroy or to consume quickly or enthusiastically.
[[What? Are you threatening me? Screw you! -> Okay then]]]
[[Fine I'll take your test -> Test]]*You walk through the open door and into a long dark hallway. Eventually you get to another door. A bright light shines through the crack at the bottom. You open the door to find a brightly lit room with nothing in it. You step into the room and look around. The door closes behind you and a loud voice yells at you over the speaker in the ceiling.*
MY NAME IS T.a.R.R.I AND THIS IS TEST FACILITY 7. I'LL BE YOUR TRAINER FOR THIS PORTION OF THE TEST.
L.A.R.R.I TELLS ME YOU WERE GREAT BUT I DON'T CARE. ALL I CAN ABOUT IS WINNING. CAN YOU WIN?
PROBABLY NOT.
ALL RIGHT, LET'S DO THIS!
IN FRONT OF YOU IS A DOOR, BEYOND THAT DOOR IS AN OBSTACLE COURSE. WHENEVER YOU'RE READY, STEP THROUGH AND RUN IT.
(Link:"Is this gonna kill me?")[NOT IF YOU'RE GOOD ENOUGH.]
(link:"Why are you yelling?")[STOP ASKING QUESTIONS AND RUN THE COURSE!]
(link:"*sigh* Can we not do this?")[NO. TAKE THE TEST!
[[Or what? -> Angry Terry]]
[[Go through the door -> The course.]]First, we'll start with the basics.
Two plus two equals:
(link:"four")[Correct]
[[five -> dumb death]]
[[three -> dumb death]]
Four times five equals:
[[nine -> dumb death]]
[[ten -> dumb death]]
(link:"twenty")[Correct]
One hundred minus thirteen equals:
[[seventy-seven -> dumb death]]
(link:"eighty-seven")[Correct]
[[two -> dumb death]]
Nine divided by three equals:
[[seven -> dumb death]]
[[twelve -> dumb death]]
[[three -> correct]]*A series of obstacles lie ahead. First is three circular platforms, moving side to side, over a large seemingly bottomless pit. There's only about a foot in between each platform but they're moving pretty quick and their movement is staggered.*
[[Try to walk onto the first platform as it moves by -> Walk]]
[[Jump onto the first platform -> Jump]]
[[Wuss out and try the other path -> P.A.I.N Machine]]*The path ahead is a simple, straight metal bridge, about five feet wide and fifty feet long, which stretches across a large, seemingly bottomless pit.*
ALL RIGHT. THIS IS THE DURABILITY TEST. GET TO THE OTHER SIDE OR GET SMUSHED.
[[Walk forward cautiously -> Cautious]]
[[Sprint like your life depends on it -> Sprint]]
[[Suddenly remember you're afriad of heights and go back to the obstacle course -> Obstacles]]*You walk forward slowly, looking out for anything that might pop out and maim you in some way. You get about ten feet down this narrow path and something swings down toward you from above you.*
[[Roll out of the way -> duck]]
[[Block -> block]]*You sprint forward with no regard for your own safety. T.a.R.R.I almost sounds impressed.*
I'M ALMOST IMPRESSED.
*You get about ten feet down this narrow path and a large wooden panel swings down from above you but you don't have time to react to it. It hits you and send you stumbling back until you're teetering on the edge of the walkway.*
[[Try to get your balance -> balance]]
[[Drop down and try to grab the platform -> Grab]]*You try to walk on the platform as it moves by but you're thrown off balance and fall immedaiately.*
[[Grab the platform -> Platform]]
[[Grab the track the platforms move on -> Track]]*You jump on the first platform and hold on for dear life. You eventually shuffle to your feet, but keep your center of gavity low. *
GOOD JOB FIGHTING THAT INERTIA. NOW KEEP GOING.
[[Repeat your stradgey -> success]]
[[Walk to the next one -> fail]]Screw, noun; a slender, sharp-pointed metal pin with a helical thread engraved in it and a slotted head, typically used to join things together by being rotated so that it the base material and is held tightly in place.
*Multiple slots in the walls around you slide open and robitc arms with drill bits attached extend toward you.*
In this case, 'screw' is being used as a verb, which in this context, would mean you wish me ill-will. So, I propose we skip the tests and you become a study on human anatomy.
*The drills get close and start to rotate, you try to run from them but ultimately you're left as a bloody mess on the ground.*
Humans are apparently soft and therefore susceptable to puncture wounds. I shall make a note of that.
[[Start over. ->Hello! ]] *A robotic arm comes out of the ceiling. you try to run but it's quicker than you thought. It grabs you by the foot and pulls you toward the pit. It dangles you there for a moment.*
YOU READY TO TAKE THESE TESTS NOW?
(link:"Yes! I'll take your test!")[Which one?
[[Endurance -> Obstacles]]
[[Durability -> P.A.I.N Machine]]]
(link:"Screw you! Put me down!")[OKAY. *T.a.R.R.I drops you*
[[Start over ->Hello! ]]]You roll forward and the giant piece of wood narrowly misses you, but the floor in front of you drops down and you fall directly into the pit below. T.a.R.R.I almost seems satisfied with the sound of your body hitting the floor hundreds of feet below.
THAT WAS ALMOST SATISFYING.
(link:"Start over")[[[From the beginning ->Hello! ]]
[[From Test Facility 7 -> Test Facility 7]]]*You throw your arms in front of your face and feel the object crash into you. The wood splinters and flies around you as you're pushed back. After a few seconds of nothing happening, you peek out from behind your arms to see that the path, while now covered in splinters, is clear. Your arms are bruised and bleeding slightly in some places but you're overall fine.*
GOOD JOB. NOW KEEP MOVING.
(link:"Move forward")[*You walk along the path again, stepping over the larger chunks of wood. You move about ten more feet before the walls on either side of the walkway start to move inward.*
[[Sprint forward -> Run away]]
[[Try to hold the walls back -> Strong man it]]
[[Stand there and take it -> Bold move]]]
[[Go back -> wuss out]]*You run forward in a panic.*
WHY ARE YOU RUNNING? RUNNING IS FOR WEENIES.
*The walkway shifts and you trip, landing face first. You're pretty sure you've knocked out a tooth, but as you look for it, the walls close in and squash you like a bug.*
NO WEENIES ALOUD ON MY COURSE.
(link:"Start over")[[[From the beginning ->Hello! ]]
[[From Test Facility 7 -> Test Facility 7]]]*Try to hold the walls back but they're too strong. You hear a few cracks and pain shoots out from your right elbow and left shoulder. Some bones have broken but you can move forward.*
[[Move forward slowly -> Cautiously]]
[[Run like your life depended on it because it actually might! -> Sprint!]]*You're fine. Completely fine. The walls squeeze you a little and then moves back to its original position. You can move forward.*
WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? MOVE!
[[Move forward slowly -> Cautiously]]
[[Run! -> Sprint!]]*You try to run back but the path falls from beneath you. Not thinking, you turn to grab the leadge, any ledge, as you fall but you can't find it.*
WEENIES DON'T GET TO GRAB ONTO THE LEDGE. WEENIES JUST GET ROASTED.
*As you fall down into the pit, you notice it's getting brighter and much hotter. You manage to turn yourself around in the air and see a roaring fire below you. You fall onto a grill and quickly get nice a toasty. A robotic arm comes and flips you.*
HEY L.a.R.R.I, WANT TO SPLIT THIS WEENIE WITH ME?
Of course! I'll bring buns and some mustard.
(link:"Start over")[[[From the beginning ->Hello! ]]
[[From Test Facility 7 -> Test Facility 7]]]*You grab for the platform as it moves past but you find that it's very slippery. You slide off quickly and fall to your death. *
(link:"Start over")[[[From the beginning ->Hello! ]]
[[From Test Facility 7 -> Test Facility 7]]]*You grab onto the track and feel safe for the moment but quickly realize the platform is coming back your way.*
THINK FAST!
[[Pull yourself up -> Saftey]]
[[Let go -> Why would you do that]]*You grab onto the platform and you're relatively safe for now but you're getting kind of sick on this thing. Apparently you get motion sick now.*
HA. ONLY WEENIES GET MOTION SICK.
(link:"Wait it out")[*You throw up.*
HA. DUMMY.]
[[Move forward quickly because you feel sick ->Quick]]
[[Keep doing what you're doing ->Aint Broke]]*You decide that since your first stradegy worked you won't be using it again because you're not boring. Unfortunately, the exciting thrill-seekers are usually the first ones to die in a horror movie. This isn't quite a horror movie but... close enough right?
You stand up on your platform, crouched as if you were surfing. You try to step over to the next platform as it passes by but the conflicing movements throw you off balance and you fall, hitting your head on the track below which knocks you out before falling to your death. *
NEXT.
(link:"Start over")[[[From the beginning ->Hello! ]]
[[From Test Facility 7 -> Test Facility 7]]]Log: Subject was far too intelectually incapable of completing the simplest elementary math problems. Therefore, this intelligence terminated the test by terminating the subject. Body will be taken to L.a.R.R.I for disposal if the resident doctor has no use of it.
(link:"Start over")[[[From the beginning ->Hello! ]]
[[From Test Facility 5 -> Test Facility 5]]]Correct. Now, I will ask a question intentionally phrased so as to require ingenuity in ascertaining its answer or meaning and you will do your best to answer said riddle. Do not worry, this is just a soft assessment and thus you will not be harmed for ansering wrong.
Are you ready?
(link:"Do I have a choice?")[There will be varying choices, but only one answer.
(link:"No, I mean, can I just not do this?")[No.]]
(link:"Why is this necessary?")[I'm attempting to assess your ability to problem solve.]
(link:"Yes I'm ready.")[Excellent.
[[Now, here is the Riddle -> prompt practice]]]*You wave your arms in an attempt to regain your balance. T.a.R.R.I seems annoyed.*
OH NO DUMMY, YOU COULDN'T HANDLE THE HIT SO YOU DON'T GET OUT OF THIS THAT EASILY.
*The walkway rumbles beneath you. Any attempts to regain your balance are thrown off and you fall into the pit below.*
(link:"Start over")[[[From the beginning ->Hello! ]]
[[From Test Facility 7 -> Test Facility 7]]]*You start to lose your balance again but decide to drop off the platform yourself and grab onto the side. You pull yourself up and can move forward.*
[[Keep sprinting -> Sprint!]]
[[Go forward caustiously this time -> Cautiously]]YOU DUMMY. YOU'RE GONNA FALL.
*The platform starts moving beneath you in the opposite direction like a treadmill*
[[Run faster -> faster]]
[[Stop running -> stop]]THIS IS GETTING BORING. MOVE FASTER!
*The platform you've been walking on starts moving forward like a threadmill.*
[[Let it take you -> take]]
[[Fight it -> fight]]You quickly jump and scramble over the last platform and make it to ground that isn't moving from side to side.*
*You're pretty relieved that you can sit on a walkway that isn't moving. Your stomach settles pretty quickly and you can keep going. Good thing too because T.a.R.R.I gets antsy when people aren't (text-style: "strike")[dying] running on his course.*
GO BEFORE I MAKE YOU GO.
[[Walk forward -> Next]]
[[Stand there and try to chat with T.a.R.R.I -> Lil chat]]*You decide to keep moving forward slowly. It works pretty well but now T.a.R.R.I has to clean these platforms becasue you threw up all over them.*
GREAT. THANKS FOR NOTHING WEENIE.
*You make it to the other side and can sit on a walkway that isn't moving. Your stomach settles pretty quickly and you can keep going. Good thing too because T.a.R.R.I gets antsy when people aren't (text-style: "strike")[dying] running on his course.*
GO BEFORE I MAKE YOU GO.
[[Walk forward -> Next]]
[[Stand there and try to chat with T.a.R.R.I -> Lil chat]]*The walkway takes you for about ten feet before abrutly stopping. You look around for any danger but can't see anything. You're suddenly flung up into the air by a hidden springboard in the walkway.*
HA. THAT'S MY FAVORITE PART.
*You fly up about ten feet in the air, twisting and flipping around aimlessly as you go. You start to fall back down and realize you're at risk for falling off the platform completely, but you're still spinning around so it's hard to tell if you're actually off course.*
[[Jerk yourself left to try to stay on -> jerk left]]
[[Jerk to the right to try to stay on -> jerk right]]
[[Try to orient yourself -> orient]]
[[Stay the course -> do nothing]]*You try to walk backwards to try to fight the walkway. T.a.R.R.I doesn't seem to like that.*
I DON'T LIKE THAT.
*The walkway stops abruptly and you fall on your back. As soon as you land the walkway shoots up like a springboard and you go flying ten feet into the air. Your body is thrown into an uncontrolable spin. You start to fall back down and realize you're at risk for falling off the platform completely, but you're still spinning around so it's hard to tell if you're actually off course.*
[[Jerk yourself left to try to stay on -> jerk left]]
[[Jerk to the right to try to stay on -> jerk right]]
[[Try to orient yourself -> orient]]
[[Stay the course -> do nothing]]*You disregard T.a.R.R.I. and run faster. The walkway abruptly stops moving which throws you off balance and you fall on your face. You try to stand but your suddenly thrown into the air. The walkway seems to have turned into a springboard and you're now spinning uncontrolably.You start to fall back down and realize you're at risk for falling off the platform completely, but you're still spinning around so it's hard to tell if you're actually off course.*
[[Jerk yourself left to try to stay on -> jerk left]]
[[Jerk to the right to try to stay on -> jerk right]]
[[Try to orient yourself -> orient]]
[[Stay the course -> do nothing]]*You take T.a.R.R.I.'s advice and stop in your tracks. The platform takes you about five more feet before it stops too.*
I'M NOT DOING ALL THE WORK FOR YOU.
*You begin to walk forward again but you're flung up into the air as the walkway turned into a springboard. Your body is thrown into an uncontrolable spin. You start to fall back down and realize you're at risk for falling off the platform completely, but you're still spinning around so it's hard to tell if you're actually off course.*
[[Jerk yourself left to try to stay on -> jerk left]]
[[Jerk to the right to try to stay on -> jerk right]]
[[Try to orient yourself -> orient]]
[[Stay the course -> do nothing]]*You twist yourself left in an attempt to land on the platform but you only manage to stop spinning long enough to realize that you've doomed yourself. Your legs hit the platform with force but the upper half of your body doesn't. You fling around and hit your head on the under side of the platform, knocking you out before you plummet to the dark pit below.*
HA. YOU DIED.
(link:"Start over")[[[From the beginning ->Hello! ]]
[[From Test Facility 7 -> Test Facility 7]]]*You twist yourself right in an attempt to land on the platform but you only manage to make yourself spin faster. You feel your head hit the platform with force but the rest of your body doesn't. You fling around and watch the course disappear through your broken and bloody eye sockets as you plummet to the dark pit below.*
HA. YOU DIED.
(link:"Start over")[[[From the beginning ->Hello! ]]
[[From Test Facility 7 -> Test Facility 7]]]*You stop spinning and notice that you're about to fall off the platform. You only have a second to react.*
[[Grab the edge -> break wrist]]
[[Pray -> Dying on a prayer]]
[[Yell for help -> T.a.R.R.I abides]]*You resign yourself to your fate. You close your eyes and relive your entire life over. Your best memories, your worst... you remember that weird thing you did and you cringe a little. All in all, you had a good life, you think. Then, you hit the walkway. Your back hurts a little but you sit up and look around. You're safe.*
AW MAN. I LIKE IT WHEN THEY GO ***SPLAT.***
*You can keep going but your back really hurts.*
[[Stand up and keep going -> End.]]
(link:"Ask T.a.R.R.I. to get you a doctor")[THE DOCTOR IS BUSY. STOP COMPLAINING.](set: $answer to (prompt: "You couldn’t call me spineless, though I hide behind cover,
You wouldn’t call me wise, though I am filled with wonder,
You shouldn’t call me worthless, though I’m made not of gold,
You can’t hold a torch to the stories I’ve told.
What am I?", "Please tell me your answer"))
$answer, That's interesting.
[[Okay, why is that interesting?]]
(link:"This is annoying")[What is annoying is your general rudness.](if: $answer is "Book")[Because, that was correct and I wasn't expecting you to get it right.
Are you ready for the next part of the test?
[[Yes -> yes, correct]]
[[No -> no, correct]]]
(if: $answer is "A book")[Because, that was correct and I wasn't expecting you to get it right.
Are you ready for the next part of the test?
[[Yes -> yes, correct]]
[[No -> no, correct]]]
(if: $answer is "I don't know")[Because I suspected that you would at least try. Oh well.
Are you ready for the next part of the test?
[[Yes -> Yes, wrong]]
[[No -> No, wrong]]]
(if: $answer is "Oh screw this")[Because that was quite rude. I don't like you very much but I must stay impartial for proper testing.
Are you ready for the next part of the test?
[[Yes -> Yes, wrong]]
[[No -> No, wrong]]]*You put your hands together and start to pray. A bright light shines down upon you as you fall past the walkway into the pit. For a moment, you think you might just be saved by some divine intervention. This horrible nightmare is finally over. Then you realize that T.a.R.R.I. is just shinning a light on you.*
HA. HA. NO GOD HERE DUMMY. JUST ME.
*You, of course, fall to your death*
(link:"Start over")[[[From the beginning ->Hello! ]]
[[From Test Facility 7 -> Test Facility 7]]]*A robotic claw comes shooting out of the ceiling a grabs you by the foot.*
YOU'RE TOO WEAK FOR THIS TEST.
*The claw takes you back to the beginning and sets you in front of the Endurance Course but it doesn't retreat into the ceiling again.*
RUN, DUMMY.
*A series of obstacles lie ahead. First is three circular platforms, moving side to side, over a large seemingly bottomless pit. There's only about a foot in between each platform but they're moving pretty quick and their movement is staggered.*
[[Try to walk onto the first platform as it moves by -> Walk]]
[[Jump onto the first platform -> Jump]]
(link:"Try to go back to the other course")[The claw grabs you and sets you back in front of the Endurance Course.]*You grab the ege of the walkway at the last second and feel your wrist pop and crack. Pain shoots up your arm as you pull yourself up. You sit on the walkway and hold your broken wrist.*
HAHA. YOU'RE SOFT. KEEP MOVING.
[[Stand up and keep going -> End.]]
(link:"Ask T.a.R.R.I. to get you a doctor")[THE DOCTOR IS BUSY. STOP COMPLAINING.]*You pull yourself up and get hit by the platform. It hurts a little but you're able to position yourself on top of it. You're safe for now but T.a.R.R.I doesn't like when you stay in one spot for long.*
MOVE OR I'LL MOVE YOU.
[[Stay put. -> Moved]]
[[Jump to the last platform -> last jump]]
[[Jump to the walkway beyond the last platform -> skip it]]*In a truly unthinking moment, you simply let go of the track only to realize a moment later that you've doomed yourself. The floor is one hundred feet below you and you fall to your death.*
HA. YOU'RE DUMB. OR AT LEAST YOU WERE.
(link:"Start over")[[[From the beginning ->Hello! ]]
[[From Test Facility 7 -> Test Facility 7]]]*A robotic claw comes down from the ceiling and tries to grab you when you stand there for too long. You try to run forward but it grabs you by the leg and flings you in the air. You fall down into the pit below all while T.a.R.R.I is yelling:*
I DON'T LIKE PEOPLE STANDING STILL ON MY COURSE, WEENIE.
(link:"Start over")[[[From the beginning ->Hello! ]]
[[From Test Facility 7 -> Test Facility 7]]]*You jump to the last platform as you've done before but unfortunately the platform stops and you fall on the track below it. You can't even reorient yourself before the track keeps moving again. It crushes your spine and you're paralyzed. You spend the rest of your life like this. It's okay though becuase the rest of your life is only but a minute as you quickly fall to your death.*
YOU GOT COMPLACENT. ALWAYS BE READY FOR THE UNEXPECTED.
(link:"Start over")[[[From the beginning ->Hello! ]]
[[From Test Facility 7 -> Test Facility 7]]]*You decide that you've had enough of these moving platforms and muster up the strength to jump past the last one and onto the walkway. You almost don't make it but you grab onto the ledge and pull yourself up.*
THAT WAS IMPRESSIVE. KEEP GOING.
[[Walk forward -> Next]]
[[Stand there and try to chat with T.a.R.R.I -> Lil chat]]*Twenty feet ahead of you is a large metal wall. It stretches all the way acorss the walkway and seems to be about ten feet high.*
GET OVER THE WALL DUMMY
[[Get a running start -> RUNNING]]
[[Try to find some hand-holds and scale it slowly -> Crushed]]
(link:"Run head first into it")[*You drop your head down and sprint full force into this wall. You're knocked back on your butt and T.a.R.R.I laughs at you.*
HAHAHA. I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW I COULD LAUGH.](link:"So, what's it like being an AI?")[I WILL END YOU IF YOU DON'T RUN MY COURSE. NOW!
[[But, like, why do you care so much? Do you like not having a body? -> tarry's body]]]
(link:"Why do you yell so much?")[I'M PROGRAMMED TO YELL BUT ALSO T.a.R.R.I LIKES YELLING. NOW RUN MY COURSE.
[[Keep going -> Next]]]Well, that was an easy question anyway. It is of my opinion that, given access to enough primates, they could hve figured it out as well.
Now, on to the test.
*You are forced into a chair and strapped in.*
First question: What's the Elemental symbol for silver?
[[Ag -> correct2]]
[[Sl -> wrong2]]
[[Ts -> wrong2]]
[[Mg -> wrong2]]Unforunately, I do not care. I'd like to say that you're fairly intelligent but that was an easy riddle to begin with.
Now, on to the test.
*You are forced into a chair and strapped in.*
First question: What's the Elemental symbol for silver?
[[Ag -> correct2]]
[[Sl -> wrong2]]
[[Ts -> wrong2]]
[[Mg -> wrong2]]Excellent. You failed to fullfil the requirements of this assessment. Your problem sovling skills are inadequate. My professional and intellectual opinion is leaning toward subject termination.
Now, on to the test.
*You are forced into a chair and strapped in.*
First question: What's the Elemental symbol for silver?
[[Ag -> correct3]]
[[Sl -> wrong2]]
[[Ts -> wrong2]]
[[Mg -> wrong2]]The assessment will continue regardless of your emotional state on the matter or your desire to stop. You failed to fullfil the requirements of this assessment. Your problem sovling skills are inadequate. My professional and intellectual opinion is leaning toward subject termination.
Now, on to the test.
*You are forced into a chair and strapped in.*
First question: What's the Elemental symbol for silver?
[[Ag -> correct3]]
[[Sl -> wrong2]]
[[Ts -> wrong2]]
[[Mg -> wrong2]]*Something taps you on the shoulder. You turn to see a large, seven foot tall robot towering over you. It's completely metal but stylized to look incredibly muscular. you open your mouth to speak but it grabs you by the face, shutting you up, and lifts you off the walkway, bring you close to its face.*
I DO HAVE A BODY!
*T.a.R.R.I then wines up and throws you like a frisbee across the pit. You hit the wall on the other side with a loud ***Thud.*** You slowly slide off the wall, into the pit, to your death.*
(link:"Start over")[[[From the beginning ->Hello! ]]
[[From Test Facility 7 -> Test Facility 7]]]*You take a step back and then run forward as fast as you can. You get within five feet of the wall and jump. You seem to fly higher than you expected and look down to see that the walkway acted as a springboard for you but you look back up to see that you're going come up a little short.*
[[Reach for the top -> reach]]
[[Try to punch through the wall -> breakable]]*You walk up to the wall and see that it's completely smooth. There's nowhere to grab onto.*
[[Touch the wall -> actually crushed]]
[[Go back and get a running start -> RUNNING]]
[[Sit down and give up. -> fall]]*You lightly touch the wall. You feel it's smooth, cold, unforgiving texture. Then you feel it's weight. Oh no. It's tipping over. It's going to fall on you!*
(link:"Run")[*You turn and run but only get about six feet out before this six ton block of steel falls on you, crushing every single bone in your body.*
HA.
(link:"Start over")[[[From the beginning ->Hello! ]]
[[From Test Facility 7 -> Test Facility 7]]]]
(link:"Take it")[*You stand there, unphased by your imminent death. Everything you've seen has numbed you to this ultimate end. It was always going to end this way. You knew it, T.a.R.R.I. knew it, hell, even L.a.R.R.I. knew it. So, you let it crush you. You're happy to die your way.*
I RESPECT THAT, YOU BIG DUMMY.
(link:"Start over")[[[From the beginning ->Hello! ]]
[[From Test Facility 7 -> Test Facility 7]]]]*You sit down and pout, clearly not wanting to move forward.*
NO POUTING. POUTING IS FOR BABIES.
*The floor drops from below you and you fall to your death.*
(link:"Start over")[[[From the beginning ->Hello! ]]
[[From Test Facility 7 -> Test Facility 7]]]*You reach out and grab the ledge. You're exhausted but you still manage to lift yourself onto the top of the wall. You sit there for just a second to catch your breath.*
KEEP. MOVING.
*You look down to notice that there's nothing between you and the walkway fifteen feet below.*
[[Drop down and hope for the best -> The balls on this one]]
[[Try to lower yourself down -> Pussy]]*You panic and the first thing that comes to your mind is to pounch the wall. You manage to hurt your hand pretty badly.*
IT'S METAL DUMMY.
*You grab your hand in pain as you start to fall but a metal claw catches you.*
IF YOU'RE PUNCHING METAL WALLS THEN YOU'RE ON THE WRONG COURSE.
*The metal claw brings you back to the beginning and sets you in front of the Durability Course. The path ahead is a simple, straight metal bridge, about five feet wide and fifty feet long, which stretches across a large, seemingly bottomless pit.*
ALL RIGHT. THIS IS THE DURABILITY TEST. GET TO THE OTHER SIDE OR GET SMUSHED.
[[Walk forward cautiously -> Cautious]]
[[Sprint like your life depends on it -> Sprint]]
(link:"Try to go back to the other course")[The claw grabs you and sets you back in front of the Durability Course.]*You drop from the wall without any caution, any hesitation.*
ONCE AGAIN. I AM ALMOST IMPRESSSED.
*You fall down the full fifteen feet.*
[[Take the landing as is -> broken legs]]
[[Roll -> roll]]*You hang onto the top of the wall and try to lower yourself down. You're definitely not tall enough to reach the walkway but you feel like this will lessen the pain. You're consentrating pretty hard to make sure you don't let go when you don't want to.*
NO WEENIES ALOUD ON MY COURSE!
*T.a.R.R.I.'s yell startles you and you fall to the walkway below. You hit the floor pretty hard and you're pretty sure you've cracked a rib. You don't have time to check, however, because you look up to see the metal wall is now falling on top of you. The pain in your side stops you from getting out of the way and you're crushed beneath it.*
HA. WEENIE.
(link:"Start over")[[[From the beginning ->Hello! ]]
[[From Test Facility 7 -> Test Facility 7]]]]You hobble through the last couple of feet and expect more traps. Surely the ceiling will fall on you or the walkway will try to eat you...
But no, you step over the finish line and breath a sigh of releif. You made it.*
GOOD JOB. NOW HOW DO YOU FEEL?
[[Like I might die -> suck it up]]
(link:"Okay actually, I mean I am alive afterall.")[THAT'S THE SPIRIT.
I LIKE YOU, YOU'RE TOUGH. LIKE ME.
(link:"Haha, yeah I guess. I kinda feel on top of the world right now.")[WELL, YOU'RE NOT. YOU'RE BELOW IT.]
[[So what now? -> Durability Ending]]]
(link:"Please get me a doctor")[NO.]SUCK IT UP, WEENIE. YOU PASSED THE DURABILITY TEST. CONGRATS.
Oh thanks, I guess.
[[So what's next? -> Durability Ending]]
(link:"Am I free?")[not yet.]*The floor drops from below you and you fall into a slide. This slide goes on for a while until you're dropped onto an operating table. You panic but the room is filled with some sort of gas and you quickly pass out. You wake up some time later. You step off of the operating table and hear a loud ***Clank*** as your foot hits the floor. You look down to see that much of your body is either covered with metal plating and your limbs have been replaced with robotics. You touch you head to feel that your skull has been replaced with steel. L.a.R.R.I.'s voice comes through the innercom above you.*
Congrats. T.a.R.R.I. proved you were durable but you were still soft. We fixed that for you.
(link:"Destory the room")[You fly into a rage. Smashing everything in sight. The table, the operating machines, the walls... everything is smashed by the time you calm down. That was pretty satisfying.]
(link:"Screw you L.a.R.R.I")[That's quite rude. You may have been able to take a hit but your body was still damaged. We only helped you become better.]
(link:"I kinda like it actually.")[We figured you would. You may leave when you're ready.]
[[Walk out the door -> END]]*You walk through the door, down a long hallway. Eventually the hallway opens up into a small room. To your left is a large glass window. Straight ahead is a door and you can see sunlight shining under it.
Beyond the large window you see a desk. Sitting at that desk is an older gentleman. The plaque on his desk says "Dr. Barry Larson". He smiles at you, signs a piece of paper and slips it through a slit in the glass.
You take the piece of paper and read it:*
CONGRATS ON MAKING IT THROUGH THE TESTS. YOU ARE THE FIRST OF YOUR KIND. NOW GO OUT AND DO GREAT THINGS IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS MORAL AND DECENT. DO GOOD THINGS IN THE NAME OF SCIENCE.
Signed,
Doctor Barry
[[Crumble up the paper and walk out the door -> Good ending D]]
[[Kill the doctor -> bad ending D]]*Fall legs first, unfazed by the rapidly approaching floor. You hit and shatter every bone in your legs.*
DUMMY.
*You can no longer walk.*
[[Crawl to the finish-> Endurance Ending BAD]]
[[Curl up and cry -> death by wennie]]*As you hit the ground, y tuck and roll like you've seen in all the movies. It still hurts like hell but nothing is broken and you actually feel kinda good.*
[[Keep going -> Endurance Ending]]
(link:"Take a break")[MOVE.]*The floor drops from below you and you fall into a slide. This slide goes on for a while until you're dropped onto an operating table. You panic but you can't move because your legs are broken. The room is filled with some sort of gas and you quickly pass out. You wake up some time later. You step off of the operating table and hear a loud ***Clank*** as your foot hits the floor. You look down to see that much of your body is either covered with metal plating and your limbs have been replaced with robotics. You touch you head to feel that your skull has been replaced with steel. There are elecrtical nodes up and down your arms and legs. You feel energized. L.a.R.R.I.'s voice comes through the innercom above you.*
Congrats. T.a.R.R.I. proved you had the enduarnce but you were still pretty weak. We fixed that for you.
(link:"Destory the room")[You fly into a rage. Smashing everything in sight. The table, the operating machines, the walls... everything is smashed by the time you calm down. That was pretty satisfying.]
(link:"Screw you L.a.R.R.I")[That's quite rude. You may have been able to run the course but you were still way too tired at the end. We only helped you become better.]
(link:"I kinda like it actually.")[We figured you would. You may leave when you're ready.]
[[Walk out the door -> END2]]*The floor drops from below you and you fall into a slide. This slide goes on for a while until you're dropped onto an operating table. You panic but you can't move because your legs are broken. The room is filled with some sort of gas and you quickly pass out. You wake up some time later. You step off of the operating table and hear a loud ***Clank*** as your foot hits the floor. You look down to see that much of your body is either covered with metal plating and your limbs have been replaced with robotics. You touch you head to feel that your skull has been replaced with steel. There are elecrtical nodes up and down your arms and legs. You feel energized. L.a.R.R.I.'s voice comes through the innercom above you.*
Congrats. T.a.R.R.I. proved you had the enduarnce but you were still pretty weak. We fixed that for you.
(link:"Destory the room")[You fly into a rage. Smashing everything in sight. The table, the operating machines, the walls... everything is smashed by the time you calm down. That was pretty satisfying.]
(link:"Screw you L.a.R.R.I")[That's quite rude. You may have been able to run the course but you were still way too tired at the end. We only helped you become better.]
(link:"I kinda like it actually.")[We figured you would. You may leave when you're ready.]
[[Walk out the door -> END2]]I'M GETTING REAL TIRED OF ALL THIS CRYING ON MY COURSE.
STOP IT.
[[Do what he says -> Endurance Ending BAD]]
[[Tell him to shut up -> WEENIE DEATH]]*You keep crying and T.a.R.R.I. stops yelling at you. About a minute goes by and you feel something soft hit your back. You turn around and see a raw hot dog sitting on the floor behind you. Suddenly the floor drops from beneath you and you fall to your death.*
NO. WEENIES. ALOUD.
(link:"Start over")[[[From the beginning ->Hello! ]]
[[From Test Facility 7 -> Test Facility 7]]]]*You walk through the door, down a long hallway. Eventually the hallway opens up into a small room. To your left is a large glass window. Straight ahead is a door and you can see sunlight shining under it.
Beyond the large window you see a desk. Sitting at that desk is an older gentleman. The plaque on his desk says "Dr. Barry Larson". He smiles at you, signs a piece of paper and slips it through a slit in the glass.
You take the piece of paper and read it:*
CONGRATS ON MAKING IT THROUGH THE TESTS. YOU ARE THE FIRST OF YOUR KIND. NOW GO OUT AND DO GREAT THINGS IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS MORAL AND DECENT. DO GOOD THINGS IN THE NAME OF SCIENCE.
Signed,
Doctor Barry
[[Crumble up the paper and walk out the door -> Good ending E]]
[[Kill the doctor -> bad ending E]]Incorrect. Subject deemed unfit for further assessment and is scheduled for immediate termination.
*Two robotic arms come out of the walls. One has a buzzsaw on it and the other has a sparking electric node. I don't think I need to describe the bloody mess you become.*
(link:"Start over")[[[From the beginning ->Hello! ]]
[[From Test Facility 5 -> Test Facility 5]]]Correct.
Second question: What is the largest supplier of oxygen in the world?
[[Trees -> wrong2]]
[[Cows -> wrong2]]
[[Plankton -> correct4]]
[[Humans -> wrong2]]Correct. Perhaps you're not as dim as I believed.
Second question: What is the largest supplier of oxygen in the world?
[[Trees -> wrong2]]
[[Cows -> wrong2]]
[[Plankton -> correct5]]
[[Humans -> wrong2]]Correct. You are quite adept in scientific knowledge.
Third question: Which country borders Slovakia?
[[Romania -> wrong2]]
[[Belarus -> wrong2]]
[[Ukraine -> correct 6]]
[[Russia -> wrong2]]Correct. You are showing signs of improvement.
Third question: Which country borders Slovakia?
[[Romania -> wrong2]]
[[Belarus -> wrong2]]
[[Ukraine -> correct 7]]
[[Russia -> wrong2]]Correct. Now let's test your knowledge on histroy.
The preamble to the constitution of the United States of America was heavily influenced by which historical figure?
[[Thomas Jefferson -> wrong2]]
[[Niccolo Machiavelli -> wrong2]]
[[George Washington -> wrong2]]
(link:"John Locke")[Correct. Now, follow up question:
Who was the sixteenth president of the United States of America?
[[Woodrow Wilson -> wrong2]]
[[Franklin D. Roosevelt -> wrong2]]
[[Abraham Lincoln -> correct8]]
[[Andrew Johnson -> wrong2]]]Correct. However, I doubt you're as knowledgeable in histroy.
The preamble to the constitution of the United States of America was heavily influenced by which historical figure?
[[Thomas Jefferson -> wrong2]]
[[Niccolo Machiavelli -> wrong2]]
[[George Washington -> wrong2]]
(link:"John Locke")[Correct. Now, follow up question:
Who was the sixteenth president of the United States of America?
[[Woodrow Wilson -> wrong2]]
[[Franklin D. Roosevelt -> wrong2]]
[[Abraham Lincoln -> correct8]]
[[Andrew Johnson -> wrong2]]]Correct. You have surprised me thus far with your ability to answer a wide range of questions.
How do you say "I love you" in Dutch?
[[Ľúbim ťa -> wrong2]]
[[ik hou van jou -> final correct]]
[[jag älskar dig -> wrong2]]
[[ich liebe dich -> wrong2]]You have passed my assessment. How do you feel?
(link:"I feel fine.")[Excellent.
Do you feel smarter?
[[Not really... -> Would you like to]]
[[I guess I have been stretching my mental muscles -> No muscle]]]
(link:"I feel exhausted.")[This is normal.
Do you feel smarter?
[[Not really... -> Would you like to]]
[[I guess I have been stretching my mental muscles -> No muscle]]]Would you like to be smarter?
(link:"No I think I'm okay.")[Then I have no use for you. Perhaps T.a.R.R.I will.
[[T.a.R.R.I.? -> Going to TaRRI]]]
[[Sure! -> Smart ending]]The mind is not a muscle. Not even close. Perhaps you're not as smart as I though you were.
(link:"It's just a saying...")[Saying something wrong on purpose doesn't make it better. But I can make you correct. Would you like that?
[[Umm... Sure? -> Muscular death]]
[[No, thanks. -> Smart ending]]]
[[I know that! -> Of course]]*You're immediately shocked by something behind you and you fall unconscious. You don't wake up again because J.a.R.R.I. turns your brain into a literal muscle.
You die.*
(link:"Start over")[[[From the beginning ->Hello! ]]
[[From Test Facility 5 -> Test Facility 5]]]Of course you do. Would you like to become smarter now?
[[No thanks -> Going to TaRRI]]
[[Sure? -> Smart ending]]*The floor drops from below you and you fall into a slide. This slide goes on for a while until you're dropped onto an operating table. You panic but you can't move because your legs are broken. The room is filled with some sort of gas and you quickly pass out. You wake up some time later. You go to step off of the operating table and you feel lighter than you should. You look down to see that you're floating about three inches off of the ground. You feet and hands have been replaced with a robotic counterpart, which seem to have anti-gravity technology in them. You touch your head to feel that your skull has been replaced with a large glass dome. There are elecrtical nodes running down your spine. You feel... Enlightened. L.a.R.R.I.'s voice comes through the intercom above you.*
Congrats. J.a.R.R.I. proved you smarter than you looked but you were still pretty dumb by AI standards. We fixed that for you.
(link:"I actually kind of like this")[We knew you would.]
(link:"I do not like you L.a.R.R.I.")[I do not care if you like me or not.
(link:"Focus on the intercom")[You focus your anger on the intercom and after a few seconds, it crumbles. You apparently have mind powers now.
(link:"Mentally destroy the room")[You focus your new found ability on the rest of the room and everything in it starts to crumble. By the time you're finished, the room is in shambles.]]]
(link:"Walk out the door")[Why are you walking? You can float.
[[Fine, float out the door -> End3]]]The floor drops out from beneath you and you slide down a long slide. There's a small drop into another room at the bottom. You turn to look at a similar looking room. A voice sounds from an intercom over head:*
MY NAME IS T.A.R.R.I AND THIS IS TEST FACILITY 7. I'LL BE YOUR TRAINER FOR THIS PORTION OF THE TEST.
J.a.R.R.I TELLS ME YOU WERE KINDA SMART BUT I DON'T CARE. ALL I CAN ABOUT IS WINNING. CAN YOU WIN?
PROBABLY NOT.
ALL RIGHT, LET'S DO THIS!
IN FRONT OF YOU IS A DOOR, BEYOND THAT DOOR IS AN OBSTACLE COURSE. WHENEVER YOU'RE READY, STEP THROUGH AND RUN IT.
(Link:"Is this gonna kill me?")[NOT IF YOU'RE GOOD ENOUGH.]
(link:"Why are you yelling?")[STOP ASKING QUESTIONS AND RUN THE COURSE!]
[[Go through the door -> The course.]]*You float out the door, down a long hallway. Eventually the hallway opens up into a small room. To your left is a large glass window. Straight ahead is a door and you can see sunlight shining under it.
Beyond the large window you see a desk. Sitting at that desk is an older gentleman. The plaque on his desk says "Dr. Barry Larson". He smiles at you, signs a piece of paper and slips it through a slit in the glass.
You take the piece of paper and read it:*
CONGRATS ON MAKING IT THROUGH THE TESTS. YOU ARE THE FIRST OF YOUR KIND. NOW GO OUT AND DO GREAT THINGS IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS MORAL AND DECENT. DO GOOD THINGS IN THE NAME OF SCIENCE.
Signed,
Doctor Barry
[[Crumble up the paper and float out the door -> Good ending S]]
[[Kill the doctor -> bad ending S]]*You crumble up the paper and toss it at the window with your mind. The doctor smirks as you walk out the door, back into the world.
Years later, people will talk about the amazing man that saves them from those who wish to do harm. The world has found relative peace, as you demonstrated to all what you are capable of. A little trick you picked up from your time in the testing facility. None dare oppose you. You're content with this life but sometimes you wish things were different...*
[[The End ->Hello! ]] *The anger inside of you boils over as you stare into the eyes of the man that has put you through this torture.
***Do good things?!***
Who the hell is he to tell you to ***do good things?***
You reach down deep inside yourself and you watch his smile fade through the cracking glass. The window shutters and all of the glass flies his way. He never got the chance to duck. His body lay full of bloody glass behind his splintered desk.
You walk out the door into the world.
Years later, the peasants of the world you conquered would tell stories about the evil place which spawned you. As you rule all with an iron fist, science is outlawed, and no one would trust doctor ever again.*
[[The End ->Hello! ]] *You crumble up the paper and toss it at the window. The doctor smirks as you jog out the door, back into the world.
Years later, you've mostly taken to performing for crowds of people. You're agumentations let you do amazing things. You free-climb skyscrapers, leap over busses, and win races against horses.
Sometimes, you save people from petty crime, but that's not the life for you. You're content with being a star.*
[[The End ->Hello! ]] *The anger inside of you boils over as you stare into the eyes of the man that has put you through this torture.
***Do good things?!***
Who the hell is he to tell you to ***do good things?***
You step to the glass and begin to punch it furiously. The window starts to crack and eventually shatters. All of the glass flies his way. He ducks out of the way but you quickly jump onto him and beat him to death.
You wipe the blood off your hands with his lab coat and compose yourself. You walk out the door into the world.
Years later, the peasants of the world you conquered would tell stories about the evil place which spawned you. As you rule all with an iron fist, science is outlawed, and no one would trust doctor ever again.*
[[The End ->Hello! ]] *You crumble up the paper and toss it at the window with surprising force. The doctor smirks as you walk out the door, back into the world.
Years later, people will talk about the amazing man that saves them from freak accidents as well as those who wish to do harm. Crime in the country as reached an all-time low since none dare oppose you. You're content with this life. You've made the best out of something bad. That's all you can hope to do. You've tried to go back to the Facility, to shut it down for good, but you can no longer find it. You still look from time to time, but it's not your focus anymore.*
[[The End ->Hello! ]] *The anger inside of you boils over as you stare into the eyes of the man that has put you through this torture.
***Do good things?!***
Who the hell is he to tell you to ***do good things?***
You take a step back and charge the window. Your new found strength immidately shatters the glass and you leap toward him. He ducks behind his desk but you quickly jump onto him. You pick him up and repeatedly throw him against the nearest wall until he stops squirming.
You compose yourself and walk out the door into the world.
Years later, the peasants of the world you conquered would tell stories about the evil place which spawned you. As you rule all with an iron fist, science is outlawed, and no one would trust doctor ever again.*
[[The End ->Hello! ]]
↶↷You wake up sitting in a chair. You're groggy and you're not quite sure how you got there. Before you is a simple red button inlayed in metal console. As your vision starts to focus, a voice greets you from a loudspeaker on the wall above the console.
Hello! And welcome to Strange Tech’s Research and Development Division, or S.T.R.n.De.D for short! This is Test Facility 4! I’m your handler, L.a.R.R.I, and today we will be building trust! Is that all right with you?
Super! Let’s begin.
First, please press the button in front of you.
The Button
-Why?
Look around